What’s the Relationship Grid? (And What Quadrant Are You Living In?)

Ever feel like you're stuck in the same fight on repeat? The Relationship Grid helps explain why—and where you’re stuck.

The grid has four zones, based on two axes:

• Are you open or closed to influence?

• Are you coming from love or from wounding?

You can be:

• Healthy: Open + Loving (hi, Wise Adult)

• Avoidant: Closed + Loving (hello, silent resentment)

• Reactive: Open + Wounded (cue the explosive arguments)

• Withdrawn: Closed + Wounded (aka: emotional ghosting)

This tool, created by Terry Real, shows you how you relate when you’re stressed—and what it costs your relationship when you stay stuck there.

Want to see where you land?
Take the quiz here: The Relationship Grid Quiz – Terry Real's Site

Spoiler: Most of us aren’t hanging out in the Healthy quadrant as much as we think we are. But the good news? We can get there.