Trauma & Neurodivergent Couples Therapy in North Jersey
for relationships shaped by trauma, intensity, and brilliant- but burnt out nervous systems
Telehealth for NJ, NY, and CT
You’re trying to love each other — but your survival strategies keep stepping in first.
One of you shuts down.
One of you pushes in.
One of you gets loud.
One of you gets quiet.
Neither of you are trying to hurt each other. You’re protecting yourselves the only way your body knows how.
CPTSD, childhood trauma, ADHD, autism, and years of carrying the emotional load can create patterns that feel impossible to shift — especially without someone who understands trauma and neurodivergence from the inside out.
You’re not dramatic. You’re not “too much.” You’re not cold or avoidant or uncaring.
You’re overwhelmed. Your partner is overwhelmed.
And your relationship deserves support that honors the depth of what you’ve survived.
“It is often the small steps, not the giant leaps, that bring about the most lasting change.” — Roald Dahl
Who I work with…
This space is built for couples in North Jersey and the tri-state area who are navigating:
ADHD, autism, or mixed-neurotype partnerships
CPTSD, dissociation, shutdowns, or emotional flooding
Burnout after years of doing “all the emotional labor”
Misattuned cycles where one partner reaches out and the other retracts
High conflict followed by long silent distances
Trauma attachment patterns (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) that dominate moments of stress
Sensory overwhelm, communication differences, and pacing issues
Old childhood wounds showing up in new relational arguments
If you’re exhausted, frustrated, confused, or quietly wondering whether you can keep going like this — you’re not alone, and you’re not past repair.
Common Pain Points…
“I’m carrying the whole damn relationship.”
One partner becomes the emotional anchor, manager, translator, and regulator.
“I shut down before I even realize it’s happening.”
The other partner gets overwhelmed, freezes, or disconnects without meaning to.
“We keep missing each other.”
Your intentions are good; your nervous systems are just mismatched. Read More about common conflicts when you keep missing the mark.
“We’re reacting to the past as if it’s happening now.”
Trauma doesn’t stay in the past when the relationship feels like the safest — and most triggering — place.
How I work…
There will be dark humor and lots of cursing! I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but if this is your jam, read on!
Traditional couples therapy can miss the mark for trauma-impacted or neurodivergent couples because it focuses on communication skills without addressing the nervous system running the show.
My work blends:
Somatic trauma therapy to help your body stabilize and stay present
Attachment-focused work to address the real longing underneath the reactions
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) for accountability, truth-telling, and shifting relational patterns
Adaptive Child + Wise Adult frameworks to understand why each of you reacts the way you do
Neurodivergent-affirming strategies for pacing, sensory load, transitions, tone, and overwhelm
A direct, compassionate, no one-size-fits-all, just-listen-to-the-expert approach
This isn’t about assigning blame.
It’s about understanding the system you’re both caught in — and changing it together.
Why Trauma & Neurodivergence Change the Relationship Landscape…
When CPTSD or neurodivergence is woven into your story:
closeness can feel like pressure
conflict can feel like danger
feedback can land as criticism
silence can feel like abandonment
repair can feel impossible when your body goes offline
emotional needs can feel like demands you’ll fail at
attempts at connection can feel intrusive or overwhelming
Nothing about this means doom, it’s just extra layers to work with
What Working Together Looks Like…
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Step One:
20-minute consultation
We talk about what’s going on and what you want to shift.
I tell you honestly whether I can help — or what other options are for your relationship needs. -
Step 2:
Weekly or extended sessions
We work directly with trauma patterns, neurotype differences, and the relational cycle keeping you stuck.
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Step 3:
Real Practice
Take what we talk about it and practice and play with it in real life, see what works and shift what doesn’t.
About Me
I’m Lyn — a trauma therapist, couples therapist, somatic practitioner, and someone who genuinely loves working with the couples who feel “too complicated” for mainstream therapy.
My specialty is helping partners untangle the patterns shaped by trauma, neurodivergence, attachment wounds, and sheer emotional exhaustion.
I bring honesty, warmth, humor, and deep relational expertise into the room — because you deserve support that meets the moment instead of minimizing your pain.
FAQs
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Yes — most of my couples fall into this category.
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Absolutely. This work is designed for couples who are scared, stuck, or unsure whether to stay.
Learn more about Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink
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Yes — for clients in NJ, NY, and CT.
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Most couples who come to me say this.
The difference here is that we’re working with the actual root — the nervous system patterns, not just the words.
Ready to feel something shift — without losing yourself in the process?
You don’t need to figure this out alone.
Your nervous systems deserve a chance to settle.
Your relationship deserves a chance to breathe.